100 Ways To Get Out of a Date
by bluewindranger
Summary: Annabeth's bored. Thalia's hyped up on sugar. That can't be good, especially when Thalia comes in to the Athena cabin with a little notebook that reads, "100 Ways To Get Out of a Date, And Ultimately, Break Up With Your Boyfriend". These girls are anything but normal. Twenty-shot. T for mild cursing.
1. Dragonball, Sugar, Dora, and Slips

**A.N./** Because really, you can apply this to real life.

OH MY GODS THE DEMIGOD DIARIES CAME OUT SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

* * *

Annabeth Chase did not get bored easily.

Unfortunately, it was one of those days where nobody was at camp: Percy was out on some swimming meet with his team, her cabin was at school, Grover was mysteriously missing (last seen heading into the woods with Juniper), et cetera, et cetera.

As if on cue, the door to her cabin blew open. Annabeth swiveled around, her hand shooting under her pillow to reach for her knife.

"Whoa, Annie!" Thalia Grace grinned in all her sadistic glory. "'S just me!"

Annabeth let her hand drop, although she was smirking. "Thalia, don't _ever_ do that again...but that's besides the point. What brings?"

Thalia shrugged, plopping down on Annabeth's bed. "Well, the camp is, like, deserted, and I'm pretty sure you didn't want to watch Chiron or Mr. D play another boring game of whatever they play." She wickedly grinned. "But I have an idea!"

Annabeth swallowed. Whenever Thalia got that look on her face, along with an "idea", Percy and Nico usually ended up falling off of some tall building, and Jason had to be called to fly them safely to the ground. Lately, the "tall building" mentioned above had been the CN Tower, but Annabeth tried not to think about it. "If it involves pitching the guys off the Heavenly Pit, _no._"

Thalia scratched her head. "The 'Heavenly Pit'? What in the name of Hades...?"

Annabeth shook her head."It's the deepest natural sinkhole on Earth."

Thalia looked like she was actually considering it for a moment, and Annabeth was halfway through cursing herself for giving that girl over there who she didn't know an idea, but then Thalia piped up, "Nuh uh. That's so old. I was thinking..." She slyly smiled. "I mean, some girls just don't get into the groove with their boyfriend, right?"

Annabeth picked at a loose thread on her blanket. "Yeah...so?"

"So I was thinking..." Thalia rummaged around her pack and pulled out a small notebook. "See, it's this thing I've thought about..."

Annabeth took the notebook and read the title:

**100 Ways to Get Out of a Date And Ultimately, Break Up With Your BF: Edition For Girls**

"Are you kidding me?" Annabeth asked in disbelief. "That—that—_who are you and what have you done to Thalia Grace?_"

"Well, no...why would I be?" Thalia frowned, puzzled.

Annabeth groaned as she flipped open the book. "You so owe me a cookie after this."

She paused, thinking, and then began to write.

* * *

**1. Fake an injury (or actually hurt yourself, but then, that would just be emo…wait, then every suggestion in this way would be emo…oh, what the hell, just read!)**

* * *

"Annabeth?"

"Hmm?"

"I've officially decided that you're evil and weird."

"Hey, it was your idea! Now shut up and let me write!"

* * *

Examples

**Scene 1: In which you are in school, and the soda can in some weirdo's hand has just spilled onto the floor.**

_You are walking down the hallway. You see your pervert boyfriend. You see the spill on the floor. _*Cue exaggerated slip-and-fall*

* * *

Thalia scratched her head. "What if some nerdy guy wasn't there with a soda, and there was no slip on the floor?"

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "It's all a matter of perspective, Thals. You can either look at it optimistically, and see a puddle, or look at it the way that you're looking at it." She gave Thalia the pen and book. "Your turn."

* * *

**Scene 2: In which you are at home, and you have a large pool.**

_You're in your bedroom, looking out the window. Your idiot boyfriend calls you. You hang up on him and "accidently" throw yourself out the window into the pool._

* * *

"Of course, if your boyfriend is a son of Poseidon," Thalia smirked while scribbling, "this won't work.

Annabeth swatted her.

Thalia perked up. "That's right! I forgot about the trampoline, usable on Fish Faces and regular guys alike!"

* * *

_(Note: If you don't have a pool, use a trampoline. If you don't have a trampoline, just…forget it. You've sealed your doom.)_

* * *

Annabeth tapped the pencil against the floor, thinking. Drawing upon real-life experiences from home, she began to write.

* * *

**Scene 3: In which you use your hatred your siblings have for you as a tool.**

* * *

Thalia groaned. "With you, everything's a tool." Thankfully, she didn't press upon her choice of the scene.

Annabeth smirked, softly shoving her friend. "That's because I'm a daughter of Athena, and in my eyes, everything _is_ a tool, no matter how much it seems like it can't be a tool."

Thalia raised an eyebrow. "Well, don't kill me for saying this, but if you see everything as a tool, then you can use Percy's head as a Whack-a-Mole mallet."

"I've been there, done that," Annabeth innocently said. "Would you like details?"

"...Um, I'll pass, thanks."

Annabeth smiled, turning back to writing. "I thought as much."

* * *

_Your little (or older) brother (or sister) drops something on your head because he (or she) hates your guts, which is understandable. This, at least, is something that can actually happen to you in real life. If you do not have siblings, use your parents as an alternate material. Piss them off, and hopefully, they'll ground you until you're eighty._

* * *

"Well, considering that one of our parents are godly," Thalia mused, "and my mom's dead, and your step-mom hates your guts, I'd say that they'd ground us until we're...oh, about two hundred."

Annabeth sighed. "People can't live to two hundred, Thals."

"Well, excuse me," Thalia huffed, crossing her arms. "Hunter here. And now, you made our parents sound like a piece of sewing fabric, the way you said 'alternate material'."

Annabeth's eyes widened. "But it was deliberate!"

The Hunter stifled a snort as she swiped away the notebook and pen. "Gimme that!"

* * *

**2. You "got sick"**

Examples

**Scene 1: In which you freeze.**

* * *

"See?" Thalia said. "Blunt and to the point. It's perfect!"

Annabeth sighed. "Your ideas are _so_ unoriginal..."

"And yours aren't?" Thalia demanded.

* * *

_Stand out in the rain and get hypothermia. Guaranteed to work...10% of the time—if it isn't raining, stand in a cold shower until you turn blue._

* * *

"Again, the problem with Seaweed Brain," Thalia muttered. "But of course, Annabeth, you won't be using this thing, so I'm sure everything will work out just fine."

"Who says I'm not going to use it on him as a practical joke?" Annabeth retorted. "My turn."

* * *

**Scene 2: In which you flock to whatever you're allergic to.**

* * *

"Flock? Seriously?" Thalia laughed. "Who uses the word 'flock' anymore?"

"...Me?" Annabeth took a shot at the question.

Thalia didn't seem to have a good answer to that, so she just blankly stared back at Annabeth, who smirked and began writing..

* * *

_Take what you're allergic to and eat it or stick it as close as you can to your face. If you aren't allergic to anything, go to your boyfriend that you want to break up with. Surely, you must be allergic to him. If you aren't, why the hell are you reading this guide?_

* * *

"Yeah," Annabeth frowned after a small pause. "Why the Hades am I _writing_ this thing with you?"

"'Cause you're crazy, like me!" Thalia broadly grinned, slinging an arm around Annabeth's shoulders. "How about it? Don't deny it. Anyone who's spent two years with me and..." Thalia's expression turned sour for a moment, but it passed. "...Luke should have more than a couple screws loose in their head."

"I never said I didn't," Annabeth muttered, thrusting the notebook into Thalia's face.

"Ow!"

* * *

**Scene 3: In which you eat disgusting stuff.**

* * *

"That was even more blunt," Annabeth observed. "And why would anyone eat disgusting stuff?"

"A girl who would go to desperate measures to break up with her boyfriend indirectly," Thalia said matter-of-factly. Then, her eyes lit up. "OH MY GODS! ANNABETH, I HAVE A GREAT IDEA FOR THE NEXT ONE! CAN I DO IT? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE?" Thalia gave her puppy dog eyes, which Annabeth could confidently say didn't work _at all_ with that black eyeliner and goth look.

"Okay, fine!" Annabeth yelped. "I didn't have a good idea, anyways..."

Thalia quickly began to scribble things down.

* * *

_Take the oldest, most moldy thing in your fridge and eat it. Wash it down with warm Coke. And then take the tub of ice cream, melt it, freeze it again, and eat it. If you don't get sick from that, stick your finger down your throat until you do throw up. Please do not try to become bulimic._

* * *

"...Okay..." Annabeth blinked. "So, what's your 'great idea'?"

"You'll probably hate me for this," Thalia happily said as she turned the notebook at an angle so that Annabeth couldn't see what she was writing.

"Oh, gods," Annabeth groaned as she waited for the verdict.

It came five seconds later, and, needless to say, it was even worse than what Annabeth had expected.

* * *

**3. Pretend to "swing the other way"**

* * *

"THALIA GRACE!" Annabeth screamed. Thalia clasped her ears shut as, outside, the Ares cabin door (the lone cabin that, other than Athena's, still had someone in it, Clarisse) blew open to see what was going on in the Athena cabin.

"What in the world are you two doing in here?" Clarisse demanded.

"'100 Ways To Get Out of a Date And, Ultimately, Break Up With Your Boyfriend: Edition For Girls'," Thalia shot out in rapid machine-fire lingo.

Clarisse simply stared at the Hunter and shook her head slowly. What came out of her mouth was something that Annabeth had, again, not expected.

"I have _got_ to see this!"

After Clarisse had read through what little they had written (she didn't even bat an eye at the start of the third), she strolled away, smirking like mad.

"Oh, great," Annabeth groaned. "Now, we have a psychopathic, murdering, breaking-up-dates Clarisse on our hands."

Thalia didn't look so concerned. "See? I told you that you would kill me. At least, you killed my eardrums."

"Just get on with it!" Annabeth yelled, eager to get over this mess.

* * *

Examples

**Scene 1: In which you indirectly kiss a girl.**

* * *

Annabeth blinked. "That actually isn't that bad..."

"I know," Thalia shrugged. "It's just the idea in itself that's a bit awkward."

"A _bit?_"

* * *

_Indirectly kiss (or hold hands, or anything romantic) with someone of your gender. Make sure you do it in front of your boyfriend. (For those who don't know indirect kissing would be sharing from the same bottle of water, eating half your sandwich and letting the other person have the other half, etc.) If this doesn't work, which it probably won't, because your boyfriend is too stupid to know that you're kissing someone, actually kiss them. If that doesn't work, break up with your boyfriend, because he really doesn't care._

* * *

"That's true," Annabeth said in surprise. "I never knew that you had those brains, Thalia."

"Hey!"

"I was kidding!" Annabeth yelped before she could get her eyebrows fried off. She took the notebook and wrote the simplest thing she could think of.

* * *

**Scene 2: In which you fake the fact that you're a lesbian.**

_Just tell him straight out that you're a lesbian. Simple as that._

* * *

"And then," Annabeth snickered, "he'll probably run away screaming about evil mushrooms and all that other crap."

"And I didn't know that _you_ had it in you to say 'crap'!" Thalia snorted. She swiped the pen and notebook away and began writing.

* * *

**Scene #3: In which you and your "girlfriend" kiss in the football locker room. Use if your boyfriend is a football jock.**

* * *

"In other words, if you're a popular girl," Annabeth explained, much to Thalia's confusion.

* * *

_If your boyfriend is a football jock, go into their locker room before a huge game with your "girlfriend". Start "making out" until he comes in._

* * *

Thalia hugged her. "We got through it!" she smiled. "Yay!"

Annabeth looked horrified. "Since when did Thalia Grace say 'yay'?"

"Since now!" Thalia grinned. "I had a palm full of sugar this morning!" She bounced around the cabin.

"Kill me now, Mom," Annabeth quietly moaned as Thalia hit herself on the head by ramming into a wall accidentally.

* * *

**4. You "forgot"**

Examples

**Scene 1: In which you make yourself and your parents happy.**

_Schedule a tutoring session with a hot guy. If your jerk boyfriend gets offended enough, he'll break up with you!_

* * *

"Thalia!" Annabeth yelled. "Do you mind?"

"Okay," the daughter of Zeus said, suddenly serious, as she sat at her post next to Annabeth. She began to write.

* * *

**Scene 2: In which you go to a movie.**

_Go out with your friends and purposely run into your boyfriend. With luck, he'll pretend he didn't see you because he'll be too embarrassed._

* * *

"What?" Annabeth snickered. "That he didn't ask you out to the movies in the first place?"

"Oh, no," Thalia grinned, a bright, sugar-induced gleam in her eye. "Remember? You 'forgot' about your date at the movies, so you went with a bunch of your friends to the same one, and your boyfriend will be too embarrassed that you went to the movies with your friends and that he didn't mean enough to you to go to the movies with him so he went to get the tickets and found you with your friends at the same movie, except that he didn't know you 'forgot' and it was deliberate and so he was embarrassed because you went with your friends to the same movie that you two were supposed to be watching, and it wasn't a date anymore, so he was embarrassed and he was embarrassed and weird-looking."

Annabeth tried to piece together the sentence. "You had way too much sugar..."

* * *

**Scene 3: In which you ask for academic help. Use as last resort.**

* * *

"Uh, no _duh_," Thalia laughed. "Who would want to ask for academic help for anything?"

"Normal geeky people," Annabeth promptly replied. "Obviously.

* * *

_Ask your math teacher for extra help. Get yourself in detention._

* * *

Thalia tapped the pen on the bedpost for a moment, and then wrote:

* * *

**5. Act like a spoiled brat**

* * *

"Really?" Annabeth asked, but she was smiling.

"Really," Thalia agreed.

* * *

Examples

**Scene 1: In which you act like a three-year-old.**

_Start whining like a three-year-old. Complain about how he didn't get you that vintage Prada handbag that costs over nine thousand dollars you wanted. (We're exaggerating; don't worry.)_

* * *

"You know, I never got that 'over nine thousand' remark," Annabeth frowned.

Thalia rubbed her forehead. "Um, I think that it's a pun from Dragonball, where Vegeta was all like, 'IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!' when he saw Goku's energy level or something, and I'm not even sure if I got that right, especially with the characters, because the last time I heard of that was when my friend from elementary school began throwing out theories, and I think that Vegeta was some weird dude who had really flamey hair and Goku was his brother, and I didn't think that you followed me at all. Of course, I could be wrong on everything." **[A.N./ Just saying, I have _no_ idea about Dragonball; I just saw a black-framed photo with Vegeta in it saying, 'IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND' and since my friend's a Dragonball addict, I assumed that that was Vegeta talking about Goku. Is he his brother? I know that they're related in _some_ way...oh, what the hell, I'm just rambling like Thalia hyped up on sugar...]**

Annabeth shook her head. "I'm not even going to ask."

* * *

**Scene 2: In which you tell him he's hanging out way too much with his buddies, and then call him out as a doofus.**

_Complain about how he spends too much time with his friends. When he starts to hang out more with you, tell him he's an idiot for not liking anything that you like._

* * *

"Yeah," Thalia thoughtfully said, "I'm pretty sure that a lot of people can relate to that."

"No kidding, huh?" Annabeth agreed.

Thalia's shoulders slumped. "I can't think of anything else..."

"Use Dora," Annabeth immediately suggested.

"What?" Thalia looked at her in astonishment.

"Use. Dora."

The daughter of Zeus just shook her head and mumbled something about My Little Pony, and then took Annabeth's advice.

* * *

**Scene 3: In which you use Dora the Explorer.**

_If your boyfriend likes Dora the Explorer…just dump him. Just dump him. You can do _sooooooooooo_ much better than that. (Okay, this doesn't really fit, but we couldn't think of anything else.)_

* * *

"No, we couldn't, could we?" Annabeth asked.

Just then, the door creaked open, and Annabeth and Thalia both jumped.

"Guys?" the figure asked. "_What_ are you two doing?"

* * *

**Author's Note:** So! Any guesses to who the guy is?

Hope you liked it! As they always say, read and review! I love all of you guys!

**~bluewindranger**


	2. Ponies, Cheerios, Peetniss, and Galeniss

**Author's Note:** Muhahaha. After a seven-month hiatus, I'm baaaaaaack! :) LOL. Thanks for reading the first chapter and thank you so much for all who faved, followed, and those eleven amazing people who reviewed.

Aaaand our mystery guest is...not a guy. Seriously; it may have been implied that the guest was male, but still...why do we call each other "guys" when there are girls there, then?

* * *

"Guys?" Piper asked again from the other side of the door. "What are you two doing?"

"Excellent!" Thalia cheerily exclaimed, crushing her in a one-armed hug. "A daughter of Aphrodite. Exactly who we need! I mean, you must be well-educated on the art of breaking up couples, yeah?"

"She's hopped up on sugar," Annabeth explained to Piper, who was still in Thalia's embrace. "Um, basically, we're writing a guide. 'One Hundred Ways to Break Up With Your Boyfriend'."

"...Um."

"Blame Thalia."

Thalia was still jabbering. "Oh, I'm crushing you, aren't I? Well, that's a-okay! C'mon, Pipes, help us along here in the certainly dishonorable act of breaking couples up using violence, injury, and pain!"

"But—" Piper meekly started, until Annabeth shook her head, mouthing, _She's not giving you a choice_.

The daughter of Aphrodite reluctantly sat down.

"So, where were we...?" Thalia asked, grabbing the notebook. Sticking the end of the pen in her mouth, she thought for a moment, and then her eyes lit up.

* * *

**6. If injuring yourself (see Way 1) doesn't work, injure him!**

* * *

"...What?" Piper looked shocked. "Isn't injuring yourself..."

"Something like Nico would do?" Thalia cheerily asked. "Exactly!"

"I wasn't going to say that..."

"I know you weren't, hon."

Annabeth and Piper looked at each other in alarm as Thalia scribbled away.

"Thalia, are you sure you're feeling alright?"

"Never better!" the Hunter exclaimed, brandishing the pen in front of Annabeth's unconvinced face.

* * *

Examples

**Scene 1: In which you get your boyfriend to join the soccer club.**

* * *

"Seriously?" Piper laughed. "How would that do anything? Boys love soccer, don't they?"

Thalia shook her head seriously. "Not unless you aim for the balls."

"..." Piper had no words.

Annabeth facepalmed.

"Guys, your reactions are hilarious!" Thalia chortled as she finished the last word with a flourish, proudly showing it to her two unwilling partners-in-crime.

Piper grabbed the notebook and read what Thalia had written down in spiky, unruly Ancient Greek.

* * *

_Get your boyfriend to join the soccer club. Persuade him and your coach to have him play goalie. Make sure you're on the other team. When you arrive at the goal, kick the ball towards his face (or the place where the sun doesn't shine) and break his nose. That should put him out of commission for a while._

* * *

"...Why did I get myself into this?" Piper asked after a long pause.

"That's what I've been asking myself for the past ten minutes," Annabeth muttered.

Thalia pouted, crossing her arms. "Stop ruining the atmosphere." She shoved the notebook and pen into Annabeth's hands.

* * *

**Scene 2: In which you get your boyfriend to join the archery club.**

_Get your boyfriend to join the archery club. Tell him he stood too far from the target, and when he's pulling back the bow..._

* * *

"I thought that you would be better," Piper muttered.

Annabeth shrugged. "Well, you sort of get into the mode after a while..."

Thalia raised up a finger as if she were about to go all guru on the two other demigods. "The heart's closer to the left side of the body. Just sayin'."

Annabeth penned that down as an afterthought.

* * *

_Do remember that the heart is closer to the left side of the body._

* * *

"Alright, Piper," Thalia smirked, grinning wickedly as the little notebook of damnation was passed on to the daughter of Aphrodite, "Let's see what you've got!"

Piper visibly swallowed, and wilted at the expectant gaze of a Hunter and a tired look of a blonde.

She wrote down the first thing that came to mind.

* * *

**Scene 3: In which you get him on a diving board.**

* * *

"Aw, come on, Pipes...that was lame." Thalia's lower lip jutted out in irritation.

"Says the girl who suggested we use Dora the Explorer," Annabeth retorted, defending her friend.

"Yeah, I know, but..." Thalia waved her arms in the air. "A _diving board?"_

"Wait!" Piper complained. "I'm not done yet!

* * *

_Push him off the diving board. Nothing else involved. (Make sure the lifeguard's not there, and his friends are!)_

* * *

"None of you take Percy into account," Thalia sighed as she read Piper's scene.

"Yeah, but that's because I'd never _do_ any of these things to Percy," Annabeth pointed out.

Thalia grinned wolfishly. "Who says _I_ wouldn't?"

Annabeth could not do anything but splutter indignantly and turn red. "You're—_you're not his gods damn girlfriend!"_

"But he's a_ guy_...that's totally licence enough."

Annabeth slapped her on the arm, to which Thalia responded with a wet raspberry.

Piper rolled her eyes as she handed the notebook off to Thalia.

The daughter of Zeus looked at the (still) irritated daughter of Athena. "What's next, Annie?"

Annabeth colored even further, if that was possible, and all but spat out, "Set overprotective older siblings on him."

"You've just sealed Percy's doom."

* * *

**7. Set your overprotective older sibling(s) on him**

* * *

Examples

**Scene 1: In which you make out with him in front of the "overprotective siblings".**

_When your older siblings roll by, make sure that your boyfriend is sucking your face off, no matter how disgusting it is. That's bound to get a knife through his head. If you don't have older siblings, have your little siblings to hit him around the head with a Tellytubby. If you do not have any siblings, use the overprotective older sibling inside of you to bitch-slap him._

* * *

"Yeah," Thalia grinned as she finished. "I like that. I really like that."

"What? Having a non-existent older sibling?" Piper curiously asked.

"Nah. Bitch-slapping guys."

"...I'll take your word for it..."

Thalia tossed it over to Annabeth.

* * *

**Scene 2: In which you get drunk.**

* * *

_"...__What?"_ Piper exclaimed. "You're not even of legal drinking age!"

"Since when have high school students ever let that stop them?" Thalia scoffed.

"But you're not _high school_ students..."

"Yeah, yeah, Hunter, demigod, high school student; I don't see the difference."

* * *

_Suggest to your boyfriend that you and he go out to party. Get drunk. With luck, your older siblings will think that it's all his fault and pummel him._

* * *

"But I don't _have_ any overprotective older siblings."

"Piper, shut up and _stop_ thinking pessimistically this instant," Thalia commanded. "Just enjoy it! This is fun!"

Piper looked like she wanted to say something else, but one look from Thalia caused her to keep her mouth shut and write.

* * *

**Scene 3: In which he asks you to let him drive you home, and you say "yes".**

* * *

"That doesn't even make any sense," Thalia mumbled.

"Wait for her to finish," Annabeth commented, watching Piper scrawl in the creamy white pages of the notebook.

* * *

_Your older siblings, if they are truly overprotective, will not trust him driving you around on I-95. Need we say more?_

* * *

"Ah," Thalia smirked. "I see...anyways, Pipes, your turn to think of an idea."

Piper nervously tapped the pen against her kneecap.

* * *

**8. Set your overprotective parent(s) on him**

* * *

"Oh, Hades, yes!" Annabeth suddenly exclaimed excitedly. "Because all of our parents are godly!"

"See?" Thalia sweetly said. "Annabeth's caught on, Piper! Soon, you will, too!"

"I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or not."

"Trust me, when we're here, it is."

* * *

Examples

**Scene 1: In which your parent is a god and is one of the Big Three.**

* * *

"Because, you know, we _are_ all children of the Big Three," Annabeth sarcastically said, looking pointedly at Thalia, who shrugged.

"I can't help it that I get so many more extra privileges than you two do..."

Piper blinked at Thalia's rather uncaring comment. "Wow. Thanks."

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "Show-off."

* * *

_Seriously, must we say any more? If your godly parent is one of the Big Three, then your idiotic boyfriend is bound to either get a.) blown to bits by a lightning bolt, b.) stabbed to death with a super-powerful trident, or c.) die a horrible death and get sent to the Fields of Punishment for even _looking _your way._

* * *

"...Can gods be bribed?" Piper randomly asked out of the blue.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Thalia quizzically asked.

"Well, if you bribe one of the Big Three to _keep_ you from boys wooing you...they don't need to be your parent..."

"Yeah, sure," Annabeth said off-handedly, answering Piper's earlier question. "Zeus and Poseidon are bribed on a daily basis, and everything turns out okay."

"Hey!" Thalia swatted her arm. "That's not true!"

Annabeth calmly looked at her, and Thalia flushed. "...Oh, shut up."

* * *

**Scene 2: In which your parent doesn't approve of your boyfriend in the first place…**

_Now, if you are in this scenario, it should be incredibly easy to ditch him. Just have him let you do something wacky and something that you _know _that your parents won't approve of (cigarette, anyone?) and make sure that he's with you while they're there._

* * *

"Cigarette?" Piper demanded, staring at Annabeth. _"Cigarette?!"_

"Why not?" Thalia gleefully grinned. "Did you know that Percy once tried to smoke?"

Annabeth blanched. "...What?"

Thalia seemed completely oblivious to Annabeth's horrified look. "Yeah!" she rambled. "He was coughing and choking and spitting out saliva. It was disgusting."

"Are you telling me that my boyfriend is a _smoker?!"_ Annabeth screeched.

"Well, no; he's not _addicted_ or anything for some weird reason—it's really a pity, actually—he only turns to it after he has a very, very, very bad argument with you."

Piper looked at Annabeth's pasty pale face and quickly grabbed the notebook before the blonde could brain her (former) best friend over the head with it. A strange look crossed her face as she wrote.

* * *

**Scene 3: In which you somehow manage to get your parents to walk in on you and him doing…stuff.**

* * *

"Piper!" Thalia gaped. "You dirty mind!"

"What?" the daughter of Aphrodite smirked. "It'd certainly set them on the poor guy!"

* * *

_We really don't know how to explain this otherwise without being too dirty. You know…stuff. Stuff. The word that we are implicating towards also starts with an "s" and ends with an "x"._

* * *

"Bleagh," Annabeth mumbled. "Okay, next theme: ditch him at the movie theater."

"And...how does that work?"

Annabeth took the pen and began writing.

* * *

**9. Ditch him at the movie theater**

Examples

**Scene 1: In which you abandon him at the popcorn stand.**

_While he's too busy buying you an extra large bag of popcorn, ditch him and flirt with another guy. When that guy begins to annoy you, repeat._

* * *

"That just makes you sound like a player," Thalia unhelpfully commented.

"Well...then don't get into a relationship with anyone in the first place!" Annabeth retorted.

Thalia snorted. "Man, you're one to speak. You're the only one out of the three of us who has a boyfriend."

"...Point taken."

_Point: Thalia._ Thalia smugly smiled and settled back while Annabeth sheepishly passed the notebook to Piper.

* * *

**Scene 2: In which you and your boyfriend go to an illegal underground theater.**

_Give a tip to your overprotective older siblings/parents, and they call the cops, except that you're not arrested, because you were the one who notified them in the first place…_

* * *

"Hey, do illegal underground theaters even exist?" Thalia asked Piper.

Piper shrugged and added a footnote.

* * *

_Please, do note that we're not even sure if illegal underground theaters exist._

* * *

Thalia tapped the pen against the corner of her lips for a moment, and then began writing.

* * *

**Scene 3: In which during the movie, he falls asleep, and you sneak out by yourself.**

_Just go to some really girly movie, and he's bound to start snoring. Then, you can make your great escape. Be sure to not fall asleep yourself._

* * *

"What kind of girly movie?"

"My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic."

"...Thalia, that's a TV show."

"Who the Hades cares? It's still boring."

"Nico likes it."

"Nico's a douche."

"...You're nice."

"As if I haven't heard that before."

* * *

**10. Get him a hyperactive pet or take him to a place with animals in it**

* * *

"But what if the guy is _good_ with animals?" Thalia asked Piper, who shrugged.

"Then we get an especially crazy parrot that's hopped up on sugar. Oh, that's a great scene!" She began to pen it down.

* * *

Examples

**Scene 1: In which you get him a parrot hopped up on sugar.**

_Parrots are annoying enough already. Get one that's high and hyper, and it won't stop chattering into his ear. *Wink, wink* While he's preoccupied with the nosy bird, slip out. Quietly._

* * *

"I read this article saying that if you fed a parakeet or something like that Honey Nut Cheerios, it would kill them," Annabeth doubtfully said.

Piper blinked. "Then...how about we don't feed the parrot Honey Nut Cheerios?"

_"Cheeeeeeeriooooooos!"_ Thalia burst out, singing very badly. _"Cheeeeeeeriioooooos don't make parakeets soooooo cheeeeeerfuuuul! Buuuuut they're reeaaaally goooooood! Cheeeeeeeeriooooooos! Cheeeeeriiiiiiioooooooooooooos! Oh, my deeeeelicious 'n cheeeerfull Cheeeeeeeeeeeeriiiiiiiiiooooos!"_

Annabeth's jaw was in danger of detaching from her skull altogether while Piper somehow managed to keep her sanity to add a note of warning.

* * *

_Note that sugar may cause the parrot to die, but all is fair in love and war, yes?_

* * *

_"CHEEEEEEEEERIOOOOOOS! OH, MY DEEEEELICIOUS CHEEEEEERIOOOOOS! SOOOOOO TASTY ON THE INSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE AND THE OOOOUUUUUTSIIIIIDE! THEEEEEY GOOOOOOOOOOOO WELL WIIIIIITH BEEEEAAAAANS!"_

"Oh my fucking gods," Annabeth moaned, burying her head in her hands. "Listen, I have a good idea for the next scene. Give him a raving mad Thalia singing about Cheerios."

_"BEEEEEAAAAANS, BEANS, THE MAGICAL FRUIT! THE MORE YOU EAT, THE MORE YOU_ FART!"

"..." Piper and Annabeth looked at each other. Annabeth sighed and took the book.

* * *

**Scene 2: In which you get him a raving mad hamster.**

* * *

"I thought that it was going to be a raving mad Thalia?" Piper asked, throwing a nervous glance at their still-singing friend.

_"BEEEEAAAANS AND CHEEEERIOOOOOS! DEEEEEELICIOUS TOGETHEEEER! FRIENDS ARE FOOOOOOREVERRRRRRRRR!"_

* * *

_Nine words: Never underestimate the power of the furry brute's tiny claws._

* * *

Annabeth groaned and handed the book to Piper, as Thalia obviously wasn't in the state of mind to be listing down suggestions.

"How long are we going to be stuck with her until she comes off the sugar high?" Piper asked the daughter of Athena.

"No clue."

_"CHEEEERIOOOOOOOS ARE SOOOOOO CHEEEEERY! THEY'RE THE CHEEEEERIEST!"_

* * *

**Scene 3: In which you take him to the zoo and leave him in the lion's den.**

* * *

"In a metaphorical sense?" Annabeth asked. "Because we could also leave him in here, which is a lion's den at the moment."

"Both literally and metaphorically," Piper confirmed.

_"CHEEEERIOOOOS AND POOOONIES AND BEEEEEAAAANS AND MAAARRRRSHMAAAAALLOW POOOOOOONIES—"_

"I thought that Thalia didn't watch My Little Pony."

Annabeth didn't know how to reply to that.

* * *

_Yeah, these are getting a bit violent, but…you know. He's a douche if you want to break up with him. Do whatever you need to do, I (we) say. Even if it means leaving him to get torn to bits by a large, angry cat._

* * *

The two demigods leaned back and nervously watched Thalia continue singly very badly.

"The Apollo kids would freak if they heard her," Piper whispered.

_"MAAAARSHMALLOWS! POOOOONIES! CHEEEEEERIOS! AND BROOOOOOONIES!"_

"What in the name of...? You know what, forget it. Just...forget it." Annabeth rolled her eyes.

_"KATNISS EVEEEEERDEEN AND PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETA MELLAAAAAARK! FOOOOOOOOOREVER!"_

"...Everyone knows that Galeniss is the way to go."

_"CHEEEEEEEEERIOS! PEETNISS! PEETNISS! PEETNISS!"_

"Does she know how _wrong_ that sounds?"

Annabeth buried her head in her hands.

* * *

**End Notes:** Yes, Gale/Katniss forever! :D


End file.
